Rebuild My Heart Page 9

  “Don’t believe anything he told you.”

  “Even if it was good?” Owen replied. He’d changed clothes as well, replacing the skinny jeans he’d been wearing with a pair of slacks and a button-down shirt that complemented his new purple hair nicely.

  “Especially if it was good,” Derek said. Blake wouldn’t lie, but his opinion of Derek was colored by Derek’s friendship with Thane, which meant he was predisposed to casting Derek in the best possible light. “You didn’t have to dress up for dinner. Lord knows I’m still in my work jeans.”

  Owen smiled. “It makes it feel more like a date if I put some effort into it.”

  Derek thought about the Old Spice he’d splashed on downstairs when he put on a clean T-shirt and supposed it was the same principle. “I need fifteen minutes to make the pasta, and then we can eat. But there’s no rush.”

  “I’ve been smelling that sauce all day, and I’m starving. Mel should be back from her break any minute. She’s closing tonight, so I can enjoy our dinner. As soon as she gets back, I’ll be ready.”

  “Then I’ll start the pasta? I didn’t plan appetizers or anything, but we could just sit and have a drink first if you want.” Derek clenched his jaw to stop the babble, but Owen looked more amused than annoyed.

  “If I have a glass of wine with dinner, will you believe me later if I tell you I want you to come upstairs with me?” Owen asked.

  Derek swallowed hard. He ought to say no, but Owen was perfectly sober and capable of consent now. He could still change his mind, and Derek would respect that, but this wasn’t a first date, and Owen had made his opinion perfectly clear when they talked over the weekend. “As long as you tell me now that you don’t think I’m using you for sex.”

  Owen grinned. “I know you aren’t using me for anything. Pour a glass of wine for me while you make the pasta, and I’ll join you as soon as Mel gets back.”

  Get a grip, Derek ordered himself as he went back into the kitchen. He still had to get through dinner and see what Owen said after they’d eaten. Even so, he couldn’t keep from glancing at the door up to Owen’s living quarters and the bedroom—and the huge bed—he’d seen when he was planning the remodel. Ignoring the stirring of desire, he opened the Chianti he’d bought and poured some into the two glasses Owen had left on the counter. He started the water for pasta and hoped he wasn’t making a mistake. He didn’t usually have much in the way of self-doubt, but seeing Owen talking to Blake had shaken him. All teasing aside, Blake would never do anything to undermine Derek’s chances with Owen, but it had driven home to Derek how much more like Blake Owen was. He deserved someone who could talk books and music and culture with him, not someone like Derek who made his living pounding nails. Sure, he earned enough to live comfortably, but he’d never gone to college, had rarely traveled since he spent all his time working with Thane, and only knew enough about wine to know what to serve with his mother’s spaghetti—and then only because he could still find the same brand his mother had served.

  He pushed those thoughts aside. The same thing could have been said of Blake and Thane, and Blake never seemed bothered by the differences in their experience or education. Derek could get lucky too. Owen hadn’t gotten bored with him yet, and Derek wasn’t stupid. He’d just never had an interest in certain things, but he’d learn if it meant keeping Owen happy.

  “Which glass is mine?” Owen asked as he came into the kitchen.

  “Either one. I haven’t had any yet.”

  Owen picked up both glasses and came to stand next to Derek. He offered one, which Derek took, then clinked their glasses together.

  “Cheers,” Derek said before taking a sip of the wine.

  Owen leaned against the counter, watching Derek as he put pasta into the boiling water. The position cocked his hip out, drawing Derek’s attention to the supple line of his body. He couldn’t help himself. As soon as the pasta was fully submerged, he reached for Owen’s hip to draw him in closer. Owen moved toward him willingly until Derek could smell Owen’s cologne, not one he recognized. He leaned in to get a deeper whiff. Owen arched toward him, a subtle movement, but one Derek felt all the way down to his toes, every hair on his body standing on end as he pressed his nose to the skin behind Owen’s ear and inhaled deeply.

  “Great Caesar’s ghost, I can’t think when you do things like that.”

  “Are you complaining?” Derek asked, not releasing Owen just yet.

  “No, but we’re only sort of in private here in the kitchen. Mel wouldn’t come in without a good reason because she knows this is a date, but she’s still here for another hour. I don’t really want to give her a show.”

  Derek grinned and gave Owen a quick kiss before releasing him and taking a step back. “Then I’ll have to keep my hands to myself until she leaves.”

  Owen blushed and took refuge behind his wineglass. Derek reveled in the adorable sight as he checked the pasta. “Plates?” he asked. “We can eat pretty much as soon as I drain the pasta.”

  “I can’t wait,” Owen said. He pulled plates out of a cabinet while Derek took care of the pasta.

  Derek dished it up and joined Owen at the high counter that doubled as a table. “Enjoy,” he said, waiting with bated breath as Owen took his first bite.

  For all that Derek didn’t make his mother’s recipe for everyone, he’d served it to more than one person over the years, so he knew the kinds of reactions it got on a first taste. Even Thane, who’d been eating it since Derek’s mother was the one making it, still wore an expression of delight each time. Owen’s eyes closed as they rolled back in his head, and an expression Derek was more used to seeing on lovers’ faces at the moment of orgasm crossed his face.

  “Wow,” Owen said after he’d swallowed. “You weren’t kidding. This is the best thing I’ve ever put in my mouth.”

  Derek almost made a dirty retort. It would have been easy, but he’d already made Owen blush. He could let the tension between them simmer until they were alone in the shop before ratcheting it up to high. “I’m glad. It’s time-consuming, with having to simmer all day, but I’ve always found it to be worth the effort.”

  “Is this your seduction dinner?” Owen asked.

  “It’s my ‘impress my date’ dinner,” Derek said. And his “feel close to his mother” dinner, but that was a revelation for a different day. “Although I’ve also been known to make it for pitiful teenaged boys with puppy dog eyes.”

  Owen laughed. “They are rather… persuasive.”

  “You didn’t see them when they first moved here,” Derek said. “They’d just lost their mother—their father died in the service years ago—and all they had left was Thane, who was completely unprepared to deal with two grieving teens. I did anything I could think of to help, and that kind of stuck.”

  “It wasn’t a criticism,” Owen said. “I miss my nephews and nieces.”

  “You mentioned your family, but it didn’t sound like a good relationship.” Derek hadn’t pressed then and didn’t want to now, but he had to acknowledge the comment somehow.

  Owen winced, making Derek wonder if he hadn’t intended to bring up his family, but Derek didn’t back away from the comment. He still wouldn’t press, but if Owen wanted to talk, he’d listen. “Are you sure you want to hear this? It isn’t a happy story.”

  “It’s your story,” Derek replied. “That makes it something I want to hear, when you’re ready to tell it. After all, how else am I supposed to get to know you?”

  “If you’re sure.”

  Derek reached across the table and squeezed Owen’s hand. “I’m sure.”

  Owen nodded and took a deep breath. Derek braced himself for whatever came next, but Owen didn’t say anything right away, as if he didn’t quite know where to start. “I left home ten years ago to come to UK. I got a scholarship, or I’d still be stuck in Bailey Switch under my father’s thumb. My father took my leaving and my coming-out badly. I haven’t been allowed to speak to my nieces and nephews
since then. I try every year on their birthdays, but if they have cell phones, I don’t have the numbers, and my brothers won’t let me speak with them. It’s always the same old line. Am I ready to repent from my sins and return to the fold? If not, I’m dead to them.”

  After that, Derek had no grounds to complain about Marlene. “I’m sorry. That’s got to be hard. You can borrow Kit and Phillip anytime you need a teen fix. Or I’m sure Blake could find a way for you to help out at Henry Clay.”

  Owen smiled sadly. “Thanks. It’s not the same, though. I just hate the idea they don’t know I still care about them. I know there’s no fixing things with my father. He’ll never accept that I’m gay, and I won’t live a lie ever again, but I miss my brothers, and I miss the kids. They might not be completely brainwashed yet.”

  Derek winced. He’d been so lucky his mother had always supported him, whether it was in his decision to go into construction with Thane, his admission of his sexuality, or any other choice he’d made. It made him want to wrap Owen up in a tight hug and swear he’d never have to deal with that again. He couldn’t, though. Some promises couldn’t be kept, no matter how much he wanted to make them. “That sounds… bad.”

  “My father is a preacher, a mountain preacher, fire and brimstone finished off with handling snakes. The fact that it’s illegal is irrelevant. The Bible says, and to him that supersedes any human law.”

  “Snakes?” Derek’s voice cracked in horror at the thought. He wasn’t afraid of many things, but snakes were one of the few things he couldn’t deal with. Fortunately living in Lexington, the worst they usually saw were harmless garter snakes. Even then, he made Thane deal with them.

  “Copperheads, cottonmouths, rattlers. He’s got them all. They don’t allow the children to handle them, but part of coming of age in his church is the first time handling snakes. I left for college a week early so I could get out of it. As far as they’re concerned, unless I come home, repent of being gay, and complete the snake-handling ritual, I’m a heathen, not to be acknowledged in any way.”

  “That’s awful.”

  “It is, and it won’t be long before my oldest nephew is old enough to start handling the snakes. My father claims their faith will protect his followers from being bitten or from dying if they are bitten, but people have died. I don’t want it to be them.”

  “Do you have any other way of getting word back to them? Someone they’d go to school with or a teacher or anyone?”

  “Most of the people in Bailey Switch are members of my father’s congregation, and the ones who aren’t don’t mess with him. Too many people with too many guns and way too much crazy. And since the kids don’t handle snakes, there’s nothing that can be labeled as abuse. Believe me, I’ve looked into it.”

  “We could go down there once school starts, try to see them during the day when they’re away from their parents,” Derek suggested. Only after he’d spoken did he realize he’d included himself in the situation.

  “I thought about that. I might be able to see them, but the school wouldn’t let me speak to them. Ask Blake about all the rules for pulling kids out of class.”

  “I’m sorry. I wish I had a solution.”

  Owen shrugged. “There isn’t one. I’ll keep calling on their birthdays, because I’d never forgive myself if I didn’t. My brothers will keep refusing to let me speak to them, and nothing will change. But at least I’ll have tried. So now you know. Have I scared you off?”

  “Of course not,” Derek said, appalled at the thought Owen could worry about such a thing rather than see how brave he was for surviving and escaping it with his sweetness intact. It did explain quite a bit about his usual shyness, though. “I don’t have to like what you lived through to accept it’s a part of you.”

  Owen opened his mouth, then closed it again before taking a deep breath. “Thank you. Enough about my crazy family. I didn’t mean to ruin the mood.”

  “You haven’t ruined anything,” Derek insisted. “You aren’t the only one with family drama in your life. At least yours is mostly in the past. I can’t seem to get away from mine.”

  “Now you have to tell me,” Owen said with a small smile. Derek would bare all his secrets if it kept that expression on Owen’s face after what he’d just revealed.

  “I have a brother, Brian, who I’m very close to,” Derek began, realizing as he said it how fortunate that made him compared to Owen, who was estranged from everyone. “Our parents divorced when we were kids, and our dad got custody because he had a new wife and money, and Mom had nothing. We spent most weekends with her—mostly because Marlene didn’t really want us around. She just didn’t want our mother to have us—and the three of us were really close until Mom died. I also have a half brother, Preston, who I’m not allowed to ignore without Marlene making my life hell. I avoid going to family gatherings unless I can’t get out of them because Brian and I are disappointments to Marlene, and she’s not shy about telling us so.”

  “Why?” Owen asked, and the surprise in his voice did wonders for Derek’s ego.

  “Because I work construction.”

  “So? I’ve seen how hard you work, and you don’t just ‘work construction.’ You help Thane run the company.”

  “It’s still construction, I still don’t have a college degree, and Marlene never approved of Thane. Wrong side of the tracks, you know. Oh, and I’m almost forty and still single, never mind she’s hated everyone I’ve ever brought home, male or female. Not that her opinion matters as far as who I date, but if I did marry someone, she probably wouldn’t approve of them either. She almost ran off Brian’s girlfriend last week.”

  “Wow. I guess I’m not the only one who got a bad draw in the family lottery.”

  “Marlene would like to pretend being bi means I’ll settle down with a woman someday, and I’ve dated my share of women, but more and more, I lean toward male companionship. Men are less complicated than women.”

  “I wouldn’t know. Other than my mother, I’ve never really been around women. And my mother is so far in my father’s shadow….”

  “The exact opposite of my family,” Derek said with a shake of his head. “Marlene has my dad by the short and curlies and hasn’t let up since the moment she decided he was the one she wanted, my mother be damned.”

  “I can see why you might swear off women,” Owen agreed.

  “If it weren’t for my mother and Thane’s, I probably would have sworn off women entirely,” Derek admitted. “And Lily, but she was Thane’s twin, so she was never for me.”

  “You sound like you regret that.”

  “No, it’s not that. I regret she’s gone, that Thane lost his twin and Kit and Phillip lost their mother. She was… she was our shadow and the center of our world. She cheered for us, and we formed this wall around her. Sometimes I wonder how Will ever got up the nerve to ask her out, because we hazed any boy who came near her.”

  “You loved her very much.”

  “I only have brothers. Brian and Preston. And Thane. Lily was the sister I never had.”

  “It seems like tonight’s the night for airing all our dirty laundry,” Owen joked.

  Derek smiled because even after everything they’d both revealed, Owen could still smile and joke. “It just proves how far we’ve both come to grow up the way we did and still turn out okay. There was a time I couldn’t have told anyone what I just told you. I wouldn’t have dared for fear it would ruin any chance I had.”

  Owen’s expression shadowed. “I should warn you I don’t have a good track record with relationships.”

  “None of that,” Derek said firmly. “We’ll stumble through together by trying not to repeat the mistakes of the people around us. How does that sound?” He squeezed Owen’s hand gently. After a moment, Owen squeezed back.

  “I’d like that.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  RELIEF flooded Owen as he squeezed Derek’s hand. He’d never laid it all out for someone like that before—most pe
ople who knew about his past had learned it in bits and pieces—and he hadn’t known how Derek would react to getting hit with it all at once. Now, though….

  Now he could breathe again, secure in the knowledge he hadn’t scared Derek off.

  A knock on the kitchen door startled him. “Owen? I’m heading out unless you need anything before I leave. I closed out the register but left the cash in the drawer for you. I didn’t want to disturb you more than necessary.”

  “Do you need to take care of that?” Derek asked. “I don’t mind waiting.”

  “Thank you,” Owen said softly. “Thanks, Mel. I’ll get the drawer before I go to bed. See you tomorrow.”

  “Enjoy the rest of your evening. Bye, Derek.”

  “Bye, Mel,” Derek called in reply. Owen stayed where he was until he heard the distinctive sound of the front door closing and the deadbolt sliding home.

  “Give me five minutes to put the cash in the safe, and then I’m all yours,” Owen said.

  “I like the sound of that,” Derek said with a leer even Owen could tell was at least half-teasing. Still, he added a bit of a strut to his walk as he crossed the kitchen. He could feel Derek’s gaze like a caress, quite the boost to his ego. He retrieved the drawer from the cash register without even bothering to check the receipts. He could do that tomorrow before they opened. He had more important things to focus on tonight. Like the amazing dinner Derek had made for him. And how it would be even more amazing to finally get Derek upstairs and into his bed. He stuck the whole drawer in the safe in his office and returned to the kitchen.

  “Did I make it in under five minutes?”

  “Every second felt like an eternity,” Derek replied, “but yes, you made it in under five minutes.”