Lang Downs Read online

  “Maybe not,” Macklin said, “but it doesn’t matter since I’ve never met anyone out here I want to be with, and I don’t want a lover who can’t share my life.”

  “And now that you’ve met me?”

  “You’re… you’re this beautiful exotic creature,” Macklin said, obviously struggling to put his thoughts into words. “I can’t stop staring at you, but you don’t seem real.”

  Caine took a deep breath and stepped closer, catching Macklin’s hand in his. “I’m real,” he said, “and I’m just as fascinated by you.” He brushed his lips softly over Macklin’s to prove his point.

  Macklin groaned, his grip tightening on Caine’s hand while his other hand grabbed the back of Caine’s head, hauling him close. Caine wrapped his free arm around Macklin’s neck, holding on as the foreman kissed him with the same fierceness from that morning, like he was starved for touch and desperate for more. Caine gave it willingly, stroking the nape of Macklin’s neck and opening beneath the onslaught of the kiss. Macklin’s tongue invaded his mouth, possessing more than exploring, and arousing Caine faster than he’d imagined possible. Maybe it really was John’s fault the sex had been boring, because there was nothing boring about the way he felt with Macklin!

  Macklin lifted his head, eyes dilated and breath coming fast. “This isn’t a good idea.”

  “It feels like a damn good idea to me,” Caine said, rubbing against Macklin’s body. He could feel Macklin’s interest in the erection that matched his own.

  “We have to work together,” Macklin reminded him.

  “So we’ll work together,” Caine replied, kissing along Macklin’s jaw. “I wasn’t planning on kissing you while we were working anyway.”

  “That’s not what I meant,” Macklin said. “If we sleep together and it doesn’t work out, what are we supposed to do? Lang Downs is my home. I can’t just go work somewhere else.”

  “And what if we sleep together and it does work out?” Caine demanded. “You could be tossing away a chance at happiness.”

  Macklin shook his head and disentangled himself from Caine’s embrace. “Lang Downs is the only constant I have in my life. I can’t take chances with that. You know the way out.”

  Caine watched in stunned silence as Macklin disappeared into another part of the house, leaving him alone and reeling in the living room. His body throbbed, demanding more of the pleasurable stimulation, a painful reminder of what had just happened. Slowly he turned and walked outside, staring up at the unfamiliar constellations as he tried to make sense of Macklin’s swings in attitude. One minute the man had kissed him like he never wanted to let go, and the next he’d all but pushed Caine out the door. It didn’t make sense.

  Caine was tempted to pound on the door again and demand more of an explanation, but he doubted it would help. Macklin was a law unto himself, and trying to change his mind was like trying to channel the tides.

  Caine kicked at the gravel beneath his boots as he walked back to the main house, all the aches from a day on horseback making themselves felt now that he didn’t have the anticipation of talking with Macklin to drive them to the back of his mind. He was sulking and he knew it, but he’d just been rejected by the first man to catch his interest in months and the only man to ever make him feel like Macklin had with something as simple as a kiss.

  Going into his house, he climbed the stairs and stared at the narrow shower. He wanted a bath, a long soak in a hot tub. He hadn’t gone into Uncle Michael’s room, not feeling like it was right to use that space, but he went in there now, hoping the bathroom would be larger than his. He found an old-fashioned claw-foot tub. “Oh, thank you, Uncle Michael,” Caine said, turning the water on hot and plugging the drain so the tub could fill. He hurried back into his room to get everything he’d need for a bath. By the time he returned to the bathroom, steam filled the air. He stripped down and stepped into the water, sighing in relief as the heat seeped into his tired muscles.

  He closed his eyes as the tub continued to fill, replaying his conversation with Macklin in his mind. He hadn’t really expected to end up in the foreman’s bed right away, but he’d hoped for a little more than a facile dismissal. Macklin hadn’t kissed him like he was unaffected either time, which made the end of their conversation all the more puzzling. If Macklin returned his interest, why had he pushed Caine away?

  Caine turned off the water and slid down lower so it covered his shoulders. It made no sense. People made relationships work even on remote stations like Lang Downs. There were several families living on the station year-round, so it was obviously possible, but they were all straight couples from what Caine could tell. Not that Macklin had actually said the fact they were gay was a problem, so maybe it really was his being convinced that Caine wouldn’t stay or wouldn’t take a relationship seriously.

  “There’s a solution to that,” Caine said softly, staring at the ceiling. “I just have to convince him.”

  It wouldn’t be easy. Macklin was determined not to believe Caine where staying was concerned, which meant he’d be even less willing to believe Caine was serious about him, but time was on Caine’s side. He didn’t have a deadline, a moment by which he had to succeed. He could keep working on Macklin, working with Macklin to prove his sincerity and his interest. Macklin might look like he was made of stone, but he had cracked today when fear and anger had gotten the best of him. Caine didn’t plan on provoking his temper, but he could provoke other things. With a bit of space and time to calm down, Caine could think back to their kiss in Macklin’s living room and see the way Macklin had reacted. He wasn’t uninterested. He was afraid. He was also desperate. Caine grinned. He wondered if Macklin would like a home-cooked meal for two. That would give him the privacy to touch as he pleased.

  Just thinking about it made his body react. He’d spent far too short a time in Macklin’s embrace, but the feel of work-hardened muscles was already imprinted on Caine’s skin. He closed his eyes, reliving the sensation of Macklin’s hands on his arms and the back of his neck, commanding him. He didn’t think of himself as particularly submissive, but damn, there had been something about being taken the way Macklin had done the two times they had kissed. If sex with him was the same way, Caine figured he’d be a pile of ash by the time Macklin finished with him, because the kisses alone had been incendiary.

  He ran his hand over his chest, trying to imagine what it would feel like if Macklin touched him there. Caine could still feel where Macklin had grabbed his arms after the incident with the snake, not quite bruised but definitely tender. Would Macklin’s hands be as authoritative when making love? Would he press Caine back onto the bed and knead firmly? Caine imitated the caress he could picture with such ease, pulling on one nipple firmly, a hiss escaping at the sensation that arrowed down his stomach. He rolled it experimentally between his fingers, imagining the calluses of Macklin’s hands in place of his own smoother fingers.

  The jolt that went through him had to be from the thought of Macklin touching him, because Caine had never taken this kind of pleasure in touching himself before. He was as well-acquainted with his right hand as any man, but this felt different, more potent, almost as if Macklin were there with him, touching him for real instead of only in his imagination and his dreams.

  Letting the fantasy spin out, Caine continued to play with his nipples with one hand while the other circled his cock, fully hard now. He stroked up and down the shaft slowly, trying to imagine Macklin doing the same, except that Caine had trouble envisioning it. Not that he thought Macklin would be a selfish lover, but somehow he suspected sex with Macklin would be as hard and fast as the kisses had been, that he’d be on his knees, his ass in the air, before he could blink. He groaned at the image, sliding his hand deeper between his legs so he could reach his entrance. This was where Macklin would focus his attention, Caine suspected, on stretching him to take Macklin’s cock.

  In the tub, he couldn’t shift easily onto his knees to mimic the position he was sure
Macklin would demand, but he worked a finger inside his hole, imagining Macklin was touching him instead. He found his prostate and flicked it, groaning as his cock jerked in the water. He pressed on the gland again and watched a fresh cloud of fluid seep into the water. Adding a second finger, he pumped slowly, not that he expected Macklin would go slow, but it had been a while since he’d last had anything inside him. Sex with John had been rarer and rarer over the past year, and what there had been of it tended to be a quick, uninspired blow job. Sex with Macklin might be quick at times, but Caine already knew it would never be uninspired. Not with the way the man kissed.

  Feeling his guardian muscle relaxing, Caine started moving his hand more quickly, in imitation of the way Macklin would fuck him. He closed his eyes again and remembered the expression on Macklin’s face when they had broken apart after their kiss in Macklin’s living room. That and a particularly well-aimed pass across his prostate were all it took. Caine groaned as his cock spurted into the water, his release surging through him. He slumped against the back of the tub, his hand still resting between his legs. “Damn,” he muttered. “Actually having sex with Macklin will probably kill me.”

  He let the water out of the tub and turned the taps back on. He’d need fresh water if he intended to actually get clean.

  By the time he finished his bath, he was absolutely exhausted, the early morning, the hard riding, the scare with the snake, and the confrontation with Macklin combining with his orgasm to leave him completely wrung out. He flopped into bed, realizing as he was falling asleep that he hadn’t asked Macklin what they were doing the next day. He thought about getting up and setting the alarm for early again, but the room was cold, his bed was warm, and his entire body felt numb. He’d hope he woke up in time, and if he didn’t, he’d apologize for sleeping in by doing something for Macklin the following evening. He’d help Kami in the canteen and then make a special dinner for Macklin and himself.

  Smiling as he imagined what that might lead to, he drifted into dreams of hot hands, hard lips, and an Aussie drawl.

  Ten

  MACKLIN AND the others had already left by the time Caine stumbled bleary-eyed into the canteen the next morning. He got a cup of coffee, but he didn’t bother Kami for breakfast. Breakfast had been served hours ago. Instead he grabbed a bowl of cereal and some milk. It would hold him until lunch.

  “Mr. Armstrong wouldn’t let you go out today either?” Jason asked, coming into the canteen and sitting down next to Caine.

  “I forgot to ask him what time they were leaving this morning,” Caine admitted. “I still have a few things to learn, I guess. Why wouldn’t he let you go with them today?”

  “He said it was supposed to storm and there would be ice up higher,” Jason replied. “He promised my mum he wouldn’t take me with them if it would be dangerous, and he seemed to think it could get nasty up there.”

  Caine blanched. “Then it’s probably better I didn’t go because I’d be no help at all and probably a hindrance. So what are you going to do today?”

  “Schoolwork,” Jason said with such a put-upon look on his face that Caine laughed.

  “Do you think your mom would let you play hooky for a few hours and teach me some of the commands you use with Polly?” Caine asked. “I don’t have a dog of my own, but if I don’t even know the commands, I’ll never be useful with the sheep. It’ll help us both pass the time until the jackaroos get back, and if she says yes, I’ll help you with your lessons later.”

  “Let’s go ask her,” Jason said, his face brightening.

  “Let me refill my coffee,” Caine said. “Even down here in the valley it’s cold and damp today.” He couldn’t imagine what it would be like at the higher elevations. He’d definitely have to find a way to warm Macklin up tonight. The thought made him smile.

  “There are thermoses in the kitchen if you want one of those,” Jason suggested. “I can get one from Kami.”

  “Don’t let him take your head off,” Caine said with a laugh.

  “He won’t,” Jason said. “He likes me.”

  True to his word, Jason returned a few moments later with a thermos. Caine filled it and pulled his drizabone tight around his shoulders and tugged his hat low on his head. “Let’s go see what you and Polly can teach me.”

  BY THE time Jason was satisfied with the work they’d done with Polly, Caine’s head was spinning with Away and Come, Stand and Look Back, and his feet were frozen solid. He wondered how the others were faring. It was nearing noon. If the day before was any guide, they’d be on their way back by now, the men and dogs driving the sheep before them in organized chaos. Macklin would be at the very rear of the procession, keeping an eagle eye on the entire proceedings, making sure everything went according to plan or that the jackaroos dealt with anything that didn’t go as they expected.

  It was not an image designed to foster Caine’s peace of mind.

  They stopped for lunch and to warm up, then Caine followed Jason home to help with his lessons as promised. Fortunately the math was basic algebra and the history was World War I, so even with the different perspective, Caine was able to help some. They finished by three and Caine started to get worried. They still had a couple of hours until sunset, but the day before, they had already been back to the station by this time. “Should we be worried about them?” Caine asked Jason.

  Jason shrugged. “Not yet. They’ll be cold and miserable when they get here, the way it’s been drizzling all day, but if they were in trouble, Mr. Armstrong would have radioed in or sent someone riding back if the radios were out.”

  “We should make sure there’s plenty of coffee and tea for them when they get back,” Caine said. “They’ll need to get warm. Macklin lectured me days ago on the dangers of staying cold and wet in the outback.”

  “Kami will have it all ready for them,” Jason said. “He knows the drill.”

  The sound of baaing echoed down the valley. Caine looked up and saw the first sheep beginning to pour over the crest of the hill. “Run tell Kami they’re here,” Caine said. “I’ll go see what I can do to speed up getting them inside where it’s warm.”

  Jason ran off toward the canteen as Caine headed toward the barn to open the gate for the riders as they came in. The other jackaroos who hadn’t accompanied Macklin that morning joined Caine there as well. “Can you take care of the horses and the dogs so I can get the others inside and warmed up?” Caine asked the men who waited with him.

  “No worries, mate,” Neil, one of the year-rounders who had gone out with Macklin the day before, said.

  As the men came in, Neil and the others relieved them of their mounts, and Caine steered them toward the canteen. Macklin came in last, no surprise to Caine. “Leave your horse with Neil,” Caine said, coming to where Macklin was leading his horse into its stall. “He’ll take care of it while you get warm.”

  “I’ll see to him,” Macklin insisted.

  Caine rolled his eyes at the stubborn reply and followed Macklin into the stall. “Then let me help get him untacked and settled. You have to be frozen through.”

  “I’m fine,” Macklin said, but Caine swore the foreman’s lips were blue. He grabbed Macklin’s saddle, setting it outside the stall for Neil or one of the others to pick up, and returned to help rub Macklin’s mount down.

  “Come on,” Caine said when they finished. “Everyone else is already inside warming up.”

  “I’m fine,” Macklin insisted.

  Caine grabbed one of Macklin’s hands and pulled off his glove. The skin beneath was chilled to the touch. “You aren’t fine. You’re cold and wet. You’re the one who lectured me about the dangers of hypothermia. Go home and change clothes. I’ll get a cup of coffee from the canteen and bring it to you. Even better, go home and take a hot shower. You can have your coffee when you get out.”

  Caine let Macklin go with that despite the temptation to follow the foreman home and into the shower. Instead he detoured by the canteen and poured a th
ermos of coffee for Macklin. They could share it after Macklin changed clothes while they discussed what else needed to be done. He didn’t bother knocking when he reached Macklin’s house, expecting the foreman to be in the shower. He found him making a cup of tea in his kitchen.

  “You should have told me you wanted tea instead of coffee,” Caine said. “Kami has both ready. Why aren’t you in the shower?”

  “Because there’s still work to be done,” Macklin said. “I’ll shower before bed tonight.”

  “At least change clothes,” Caine said, running his hand across Macklin’s shoulders. “Even with your drizabone to protect you, your shirt’s wet, and I’m sure your feet are as well.”

  Macklin hesitated still.

  “Go!” Caine ordered. “Or I’ll start undressing you right here, and somehow I don’t think you want me to do that.”

  Macklin’s eyes darkened at Caine’s comment, giving him enough courage to take a step closer, but before he could reach for the button on Macklin’s work shirt, the foreman pivoted on his heel and disappeared into the other room. Caine let him go, checking on the tea and turning off the electric kettle when he saw it had started to boil. He added the ball of tea leaves and set it aside to steep while Macklin changed. He considered looking for a mug for his coffee, but he didn’t want to invade Macklin’s privacy too much. He’d drink from the thermos for now and ask for a mug when Macklin returned.

  It didn’t take long. Macklin obviously hadn’t showered, but he was wearing dry clothes at least, and that was Caine’s primary concern. “Your tea is steeping. I didn’t know if you wanted sugar.”

  Macklin didn’t answer directly, opening the cabinet and pulling out a mug. He dumped two heaping teaspoons of sugar into it before adding the tea. Getting out a second mug, he handed it to Caine, still in silence. Caine resisted the urge to fill the silence with aimless chatter. Macklin wouldn’t appreciate it, and that would defeat the purpose of being there. He wanted Macklin to enjoy his company, not wish he were anywhere else.