A Rose Among the Ruins Read online

  “Am I?” Rhicer questioned, a slight edge to his voice. He understood Kanath's jealousy, but he was uncomfortable with being claimed so starkly when they had never made any promises other than to see what happened between them.

  “Of course you are,” Kanath replied, finally ready to name the emotion that had been growing within him for the past six weeks, sparked by the potion, but real now, regardless of the cause, “as I am yours. I love you, Rhicer, and I will not give you up. You cannot ask it of me.”

  “I have not,” Rhicer reminded him. “I will not, because that would require me to give you up as well. I could sooner stop breathing than I could stop loving you.” He pulled Kanath against him, letting his lover feel his sudden arousal, feeling the answering erection in the younger man's breeches. His entire body ached with desire. The concerns that had always held them back from coming together in the keep faded to nothing in the face of their growing lust, only thoughts of each other still occupying their minds. Rhicer bucked his hips against his lover's, desperate for release yet knowing that something fundamental had changed between them once again.

  Not even bothering to suggest waiting long enough to make it to their bower in the ruins, he pushed Kanath backward toward the bed, his hands flying over his lover's body, separating him deftly from his clothes. Kanath's hands reciprocated immediately, setting the rosebud aside carefully, then all but tearing Rhicer's clothes away. They fell onto the straw mattress, their hands flying over each other's skin, seeking sensitive places without having to guess now, their caresses no less powerful for being familiar, but this time, Rhicer wanted something more.

  Each step they had taken as they made love had followed a pattern: Rhicer showing Kanath the possibilities and then Kanath reciprocating in his own time. Rhicer had not minded that at all, not when his lover always made him feel so good. Now that the moment had come to take the final step, though, he thought it wise to reverse, slightly, their roles. He already knew, from his early experimentation, that having Kanath's fingers—and by extension his cock—inside him would feel good. Rather than waste time trying to convince Kanath to let him demonstrate, he would simply have to convince Kanath to touch him, to take him that way. Later, when his lover was comfortable with the idea, he would reciprocate.

  Grabbing Kanath's hand where it was busy fisting his cock, Rhicer guided it instead to his entrance. He arched immediately into the touch when he felt his lover's fingers brush the puckered flesh. It lasted only a second before Kanath jerked his hand away. “What are you doing?” he demanded.

  Kanath had been as lost in their passion as Rhicer, already eager for release, but Rhicer's unexpected actions had broken through the haze of desire, shattering the familiarity that let him rush forward at such a headlong pace. He pulled away, panting, trying to reconcile the obvious invitation with his own, very real fears.

  “I want you,” Rhicer said simply, “in every way possible.”

  Kanath shook his head, looking down at the size of his erection. “This will never work. I'll hurt you!”

  Remembering his own experiment, Rhicer shook his head. “You just need something to ease the way a little. Where's your flaxseed oil? It will help.”

  Kanath's frown deepened. “How do you know?”

  Rhicer flushed. “I tried it. I lay in bed thinking of you, thinking of what it would mean to make love with you, and I tried it. You're right, it can hurt, but if you stretch me with your fingers first, and use plenty of oil, it will be fine. Better than fine. Trust me, Kanath. I want this. Think how good it will feel to you, sinking into me. You can't tell me a part of you hasn't missed having your cock sheathed and squeezed while we made love. You can have that. All you have to do is agree.”

  Rhicer's words painted a picture Kanath had trouble resisting. He was not entirely sure this would work, but Rhicer's confidence was catching and his words seductive. Deciding he could always stop if it became clear Rhicer was not enjoying himself, Kanath rolled from the bed to grab the pot of oil he kept to dampen his whetstone. Returning to the bed, he asked one more time, “Are you sure?”

  “I love you, Kanath, and I want you. Come and claim me.” To highlight his words, he spread his legs wide, bending his knees to expose himself completely to Kanath's gaze.

  Given the fears and jealousy that had consumed Kanath earlier, it was an invitation he could not refuse. Caution, though, slowed his hand as he dipped his fingers in the oil. “Talk to me,” he urged. “Tell me what you're feeling.”

  “Right now?” Rhicer asked, a slow grin crossing his face. “Right now, I'm feeling empty, longing to be filled with your fingers, your cock.”

  Kanath shivered at the husky, inviting words. Taking a deep breath to remind himself to go slowly, he pushed one finger against the puckered flesh. He almost gave up when his finger did not immediately slide inside, but just as he was about to pull his hand away, the muscle gave way, admitting his digit into the tight, clenching channel. He gasped, amazed at the sensation and the look of wonder on Rhicer's face. “Talk to me,” he prompted again.

  “Feels good,” Rhicer gasped, shifting against Kanath's finger, trying to work it deeper within him so that it would brush the spot he had discovered during his own explorations. Kanath seemed to take the hint, sliding his finger in to the second knuckle. “Move your finger around,” Rhicer instructed. “Somewhere, there's a little bump. It's what will make having you inside me so incredible.”

  More than a little uneasy still with an idea that had honestly not crossed his mind, Kanath did as Rhicer instructed, searching for the spot his lover had described. The hoarse shout that escaped Rhicer's lips almost made Kanath pull away, but Rhicer's words stopped him. “Oh, God, Kan,” he moaned. “Do that again.”

  Kanath did, the sound of the nickname his lover had given him bringing a smile to his lips finally. Surely Rhicer would not be using that name if he did not like what Kanath was doing, and that was more than enough incentive to run his finger across the little nub again. Another pleased moan encouraged another firm touch, until Rhicer was writhing on the bed.

  “Add another finger,” he begged, knowing he could come from Kanath's attentions, but wanting his lover inside him.

  Kanath hesitated only a second before complying, withdrawing his finger and pushing back inside with two. Again, he felt the muscle clench tightly before slowly releasing. He did not hesitate this time, though, his fingers searching immediately for the little bump.

  Rhicer hissed at the pain of the stretch, but it lasted only until Kanath's fingers stimulated his sweet spot again, the bolt of pleasure from that touch far outweighing the pinch of being stretched. He had done this once before, but it could not even begin to compare with this experience, with the heady thought that it was Kanath's fingers stretching him this time, Kanath who would soon be filling him as no one else had ever, or would ever, do.

  Kanath's cock throbbed as he watched Rhicer undulate beneath his touch. His lover had always been responsive, but seeing him now… it was different, more somehow, more abandoned, more desperate, more needy. He wanted to satisfy every need, every desire he could see burning in Rhicer's heated blue gaze. Without prompting, he added a third finger, mentally measuring his cock against the girth already stretching his lover's portal.

  Feeling Kanath begin to take control, Rhicer hitched his knees up higher, pushing back into the invading fingers. He groaned softly, trying to form the words to tell his lover how good he felt, how much he wanted the other man inside him. The words would not come, though, his mind too overcome with sensation to focus on anything else. Instead, he reached blindly for the oil, spilling some into his palm, his hand moving to Kanath's cock, coating it with the thick fluid. “In me,” he requested. “Please.”

  Kanath stared down at Rhicer. He had known where this was leading—Rhicer had made it very clear what he wanted—but to hear his lover pleading for it so bluntly threw him off balance. Could he really do this? Could he really stick his cock up anothe
r man's arse?

  “It's all right, Kan,” Rhicer said, seeing the hesitation on Kanath's face. “I want this.”

  “Honestly?” Kanath asked, wanting to make sure.

  “Yes,” Rhicer promised, the hiatus in his lover's movements letting him catch his breath enough to explain his thoughts. “It feels so good having your fingers inside me. I'm stretched and full and eager for the rest. I can only imagine what it will feel like to have you inside me, thrusting slow and deep, but having your fingers in me is a hundred times better than I imagined it could be. I can't even begin to guess how good it will feel to have your cock filling me. Please, Kanath. Let me feel that. Let me feel us joined in body as we are already joined in heart.”

  Kanath did not ask again. He would not belittle that powerful declaration by questioning it. He slid his fingers slowly from Rhicer's body and shifted between the widespread knees. He took himself in hand and lined the head of his cock up with his lover's clenching opening. “Tell me if it hurts,” he requested, not wanting to do anything that would cause his lover pain. When Rhicer nodded, he leaned forward, pushing inside. He heard Rhicer hiss as soon as his cockhead passed the tight ring of muscle, and he froze, waiting for some sign to continue. He trembled with the strain of holding back. Rhicer's body squeezed him repeatedly as it spasmed, and it was all Kanath could do not to thrust in with all his strength, wanting to feel that clenching massage along the entire length of his cock.

  Rhicer appreciated Kanath's restraint as he struggled to adjust to the additional stretch of Kanath's erection inside him. He wanted this. Even with the burn of this first penetration, he wanted it, but his body was fighting it. He panted rapidly as he tried to relax. “Touch me,” he pleaded, hoping that would help distract him.

  Kanath shifted to do as Rhicer requested, the movement pushing him further into Rhicer's body. His surprised gasp mirrored Rhicer's as he took his lover in hand again, stroking the lolling shaft firmly.

  Kanath's touch had the desired effect, the renewed surge of desire relaxing Rhicer's muscles, letting him accept the loving invasion. “Move,” he said finally, his hips beginning to rock against the cock impaling him.

  Kanath let out the breath he had not been aware of holding, as he pushed slowly deeper into Rhicer's body, his hips rolling forward and back, surging and retreating in a familiar rhythm that had, nonetheless, taken on an entirely new complexion. Never before had his cock been sheathed so tightly by a lover. Never before had a lover met his thrusts so firmly. Never before had he been in love with his lover. That, he knew, more than anything else, made the difference. Rhicer's gaze glistened with love as well as lust, an expression he was coming to covet jealously. He thrust with a little more force as thoughts of the king trying to marry Rhicer off penetrated the haze of love and lust. “Mine,” he growled as he thrust again.

  The possessive tone of Kanath's voice combined with the sudden brushing of his lover's cock over that susceptible spot sent shivers of passion along Rhicer's nerves. “Yours,” he agreed breathlessly. “Now and always.”

  Kanath drove deep into Rhicer's body, sheathing himself completely as he lowered his head to his lover's, their lips meeting in a tender kiss that belied the passion simmering between them. For a moment, they stayed there motionless, frozen in a tableau of ecstasy as their hearts spoke silent vows of love and devotion. Then their bodies took over again, their mouths separating to breathe as their control broke, hips straining together, point and counterpoint.

  Though each would have prolonged this moment indefinitely, for the pure joy of being one, frail flesh betrayed them, their climaxes coming far faster than either would have preferred, Rhicer's seed coating their bellies and rubbing slickly between them, Kanath's filling Rhicer's body to overflowing, trickling down to the sheets below them.

  Kanath's arms trembled with the strain of supporting his weight, but he did not want to crush Rhicer beneath him or move away and separate their bodies. Rhicer took the choice away from him, arms encircling the other man's shoulders, pulling him down to rest fully on his supine lover. “I am not a fragile thing you need worry about crushing,” he reminded his lover. “I want to feel your weight on me. I want to know this is finally real, not some product of fevered dreams and wild imagination.”

  Kanath smiled, stirring his hips slightly. “It is real,” he promised, lowering his head to kiss Rhicer tenderly before cradling his head in the curve of his lover's neck.

  They lay in sated, contented silence for some time before Kanath lifted his head again. “You cannot marry,” he said seriously, “yet I doubt our king will accept a simple refusal. He is nothing if not persistent. What are we going to do?”

  Rhicer sighed, pulling Kanath's head back down to his shoulder. He wanted to pretend the situation did not exist, to imagine that they could continue as they had this past month, loving each other in secret, presenting the face of comrades to the world. Unfortunately, that no longer seemed feasible. “I don't know,” he replied softly. “Are we asking too much to be allowed to love each other in peace?”

  “Apparently,” Kanath replied sadly. He burrowed into Rhicer's neck, clinging desperately. “I won't lose you. I won't let them take you from me.”

  “I won't go,” Rhicer promised. “Nothing the king could offer or threaten is enough to make me marry someone else when I love you more than anything.”

  Unable to resist the whispered words, Kanath closed his lips over his lover's, tongue sliding inside to find its mate, twining together as their bodies remained entwined. To his surprise, he could feel his cock twitch where it still lay embedded in Rhicer's body. He almost pulled back, but Rhicer's legs lifted just then, encircling his hips.

  “I can feel you,” the blond murmured, nipping at his lover's lower lip. “You're swelling inside me. It feels so good. You make me feel so good.”

  Kanath's heart overflowed at the tender words, affirming their budding relationship, both physical and emotional. So much had happened, so much had changed, and through it all, Rhicer had been his constant. As long as he had known the older man, he had been Kanath's constant. That sudden realization had him looking at his lover with new eyes. Yes, the love between them had started with the potion, but the gentleness, the tenderness, the caring between them were longstanding, and far more important than he had ever given them credit for being. Hands trembling at the revelation, he stroked Rhicer's face gently. “I love you,” he said again. “Not because the potion makes me, but because you are kind and noble, loyal, handsome, selfless, generous, tolerant, courageous, intelligent, honorable. I fell in love with you because of the potion, but I'd be a fool to deny the depth of my feelings now.”

  He did not wait for Rhicer's answer, knowing his lover would surely feel obliged to reply with a list of Kanath's stellar qualities, but the younger man was not interested in hearing them. Another time, perhaps, but now he wanted only to show Rhicer how he felt. Lowering his head, he cut off any words that might have escaped his lover's lips, stopping them with a kiss of infinite tenderness, infinite beauty, the promise of years to come, layered with passion and love, a communion of souls to surpass any other love, any other loyalty. They would never know the blessing of the gods, old or new, but they did not even need that, not when they had each other, not when the simple press of their bodies together filled them with a sense of joy and fulfillment that nothing else had ever rivaled.

  Rhicer wanted to reciprocate Kanath's declaration, having realized some weeks before that what he felt for his lover was far too personal to be merely the product of the elixir, but doing so would have meant drawing away from his companion's lips, and he had absolutely no desire to do that. Instead, he poured his dedication into their kiss, his hands cradling Kanath's head, fingers twining through the long, mahogany curls.

  Though fraught with emotion, the kiss remained gentle, lips brushing, separating, and brushing again, an ebb and flow as ageless and inexorable as the tide. Their passion stirred beneath the surface, but for
the first time since they drank the potion, it was banked, warming them, but not controlling them, giving them the space to truly explore each other leisurely, languidly, lovingly. They took advantage of the time, kissing in the lazy way of sated lovers, craving the contact, but not yet desperate for more. The desperation would come in time, driving them to reaffirm their love, but that would be later. For now, they basked in the warm, soaking pleasure, letting it ease the fears and concerns for their future. This was what was real, this was what mattered. Everything else simply faded away.

  Eventually, Kanath lifted his head, looking down into the pellucid eyes, seeing the love he felt reflected there. Shifting a little, but careful not to dislodge himself from his lover's body, he traced the strong features with tender digits, memorizing the beloved visage once again.

  Rhicer's eyes drifted shut beneath the loving caress. He did not want to miss a single moment, a single expression that crossed Kanath's face, but he could not seem to help himself, the force of his emotions stronger than he expected. His head tilted into the moving hand, not willing to sacrifice a single instant of contact. Being with Kanath still filled him with amazement, their interaction so different from what he had always known before. With Kanath, he did not have to be the seducer. He could lie back, at times, and give up control to his lover, trusting that Kanath would gladly take on the dominant role. Though they had not talked about it in exactly those terms, Rhicer suspected Kanath actually preferred that role. He hoped, with time, to persuade his lover to accept the tender caresses he had just bestowed on the older man. If that never happened, though, Rhicer would still be content. How could he not be with Kanath at his side?

  His hands ghosted across Kanath's back, relearning the contours of muscles that bunched and released beneath his stroking. He thought he could spend hours engaged this way, simply touching. If their situation had been different, they could have indulged that desire, within the bounds of propriety, anytime they wanted. As it was, they were limited to a few stolen hours. Resentment grew in Rhicer's heart, railing at the unfairness of the situation. He and Kanath would never have the moments that were such a part of the lives of ordinary couples. They would never be able to stroll through the market hand in hand, for the pure pleasure of being together. They would never be able to shower each other with little tokens of their affection, for fear that someone would question them and discover their relationship. As much as he hated to think of it, they would spend their lives skulking through the shadows, hiding their love like an illicit affair. Pushing those thoughts aside, he focused back on the moment at hand. They had too few of them to waste what little time they did have on regrets. His hips lifted, lodging Kanath more deeply inside him.