Rebuild My Heart Read online

  Derek hummed noncommittally, not sure where Blake was going with this. Or maybe he was just chatting. Derek had asked.

  “I had an interesting conversation with Ephah Hensley this week. He’s far more like you than he is like his uncle.”

  That caught Derek’s attention. “What do you mean?”

  “Owen loves books. He loves reading and education and exploring the world. I bet if he were independently wealthy, he’d never stop going to school. The degrees wouldn’t even matter. It would be about the learning. Ephah, though, he’s not like that. He’s a poor boy from the country who just wants to make a decent living. He’s literate in both math and reading and enjoys a bit of escapist fiction, but he’s not interested in being a scholar. He’s hoping to find an electrician or a plumber to take him on as an apprentice so he can learn a trade that will support a family.”

  “What are you saying, Blake?”

  “I’m saying you have more to offer Ephah than you realize. If you aren’t careful, you could be the one who doesn’t have time for Owen rather than the other way around.”

  “I wish you’d told me a couple of weeks ago,” Derek said sadly. “That ship has sailed.”

  “Are you sure?” Blake asked.

  “I broke up with him,” Derek said. “I don’t see him taking me back.”

  Blake shrugged. “Thane and I broke up for a while and got back together, and look at us now. You and Owen might be able to work things out. From what Thane told me, you didn’t exactly go searching for solutions.”

  Derek’s cheeks burned. “No, not exactly. I saw my childhood happening all over again and panicked.”

  “Are you still panicking?” Blake asked.

  “No, more like regretting,” Derek admitted.

  “Then it’s time to start searching for solutions. Look, it might not work out. I get that. But if you never try, you’ll never know. If you go in and apologize and explain, he’ll either give you another chance or he’ll shut the door forever. Either way, you’ll know instead of wondering.”

  DEREK lay in bed for a long time that night, thinking about everything Blake and Thane had said, about everything he’d realized since his showdown with Marlene and his father. They’d treated him as a second-class citizen, and he’d fallen into the trap of believing them, of believing he wasn’t worthy of love, of effort, of compromise, and so when faced with a situation requiring compromise and a belief that someone would value him highly enough—love him enough—to put in the effort, he’d bolted. He wasn’t proud of it, but he could admit it to himself now. If he could admit it to Owen, maybe they could start the hard work of rebuilding what Derek had thoughtlessly torn down in his fear and his need to protect his tender belly.

  Now he just had to find the right words… and the right time to say them.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  DEREK still wasn’t sure what he was going to say when he saw Owen again, but at least he wouldn’t have an audience. As soon as he’d parked the truck, Kit and Phillip had disappeared around back to Ephah’s room, leaving Derek to knock on the kitchen door alone, as he’d done so many mornings this summer.

  Owen came to the door and froze when he saw Derek.

  “I’m sorry,” Derek blurted out. “I’m an idiot. Give me another chance?”

  So much for the right words and the right time to say them.

  Owen didn’t slam the door in his face, though, so that was as good a start as any. Instead he held the door open in silence for Derek to come in. Derek stuck his hands into his pockets and stepped inside, making sure not to brush up against Owen as he would have when they were together. He hoped to have that right again soon, but he wouldn’t take liberties without permission.

  Still not speaking, Owen poured a cup of coffee and handed it to Derek. “I’m listening.”

  Derek took a deep breath and tried to gather his wits, wishing not for the first time that he could spout the kind of poetry romantic heroes always seemed to come up with, but he was no dashing lead in the books Owen loved so much. He was just himself, with all his quirks and flaws. Hopefully that would be enough.

  “I told you about my stepmother,” he said slowly, trying to start at the beginning. “How she always put her own son first and Brian and me second. I let the fear of that happening again keep me from fighting for us. It was stupid of me and insulting to you. I should never have let her define me like that.”

  “You just walked out,” Owen said. “You didn’t even give me a chance to explain or offer to do things differently.”

  “I know. Like I said, I was an idiot, a scared idiot who didn’t think I was worth anyone fighting for me, and so I didn’t fight for you.”

  “What changed?” Owen asked.

  “I went to dinner at Marlene’s. She started in on me the way she always does, only this time I snapped back when she moved on from me to insulting Thane, and in doing so, I realized what I’d let her do to me all these years. I let her create all this fear and tension in me when I thought about relationships and families and what that looked like, when that isn’t family at all. Family is storming out of there, calling Thane, and being told there would always be room for me at their table. Family is Blake and Thane and the boys figuring out how to give each other what they need and still get their own needs met. Family is you taking Ephah in without hesitation. And family is me finding a way to help you do that instead of thinking he’s somehow going to replace me in your life.”

  “Just like that?” Owen asked.

  Derek huffed a soft laugh. “No, not just like that. I had a little help from Blake and Thane along the way. Thane told me to get my head out of my ass and fix this. Blake told me Ephah’s looking for an internship in construction and suggested if I wasn’t careful, I’d be the one spending more time with Ephah than you. I don’t have the right to ask for anything. I gave that up when I walked out the way I did, but if you can find it in you to forgive me, I’ll give it everything I have this time. No more holding back.”

  Owen looked away for a moment and sipped his coffee. Derek’s heart clenched as he waited for an answer, any answer. Even if Owen sent him packing, at least he’d know.

  “You’re not the only one who messed up,” Owen said slowly. “I let myself get so tied up in giving Ephah everything I thought he needed, I didn’t think about what you might need. I took you for granted, and I shouldn’t have done that. And then I let you go instead of coming after you and trying to fight for you. So I’ll forgive you if you forgive me. How does that sound?”

  “A whole lot better than what I thought I’d get,” Derek said. “I figured I’d be lucky if you didn’t slam the door in my face. Everything else is a bonus.”

  “Come here,” Owen said, rising from his stool and reaching for Derek. Derek moved into his embrace eagerly and lowered his head to kiss Owen with all the loneliness of the past few weeks and the lingering fear that this was all a dream.

  “Hey, are you two done yet? Some of us have work to do.”

  Not dreaming. Kit never interrupted him in his dreams.

  Owen chuckled against his lips and kissed him once more. “Will there be room in your truck for one more tonight? Mel is closing, and Ephah can stay by himself. And your place doesn’t have annoying teenagers to worry about.”

  “We’ll make room,” Derek promised.

  OWEN climbed out of Derek’s truck without waiting for him to come around. He appreciated the gesture every time Derek made it, but he had other plans for tonight, plans he didn’t want to put on hold even a second longer. They walked to Derek’s house, a little Cape Cod in Kenwick that Derek had clearly renovated. Another time, Owen would admire it, but tonight he was only interested in Derek’s bedroom.

  “If you’ll give me a minute, I’ll just take a quick shower,” Derek said as Owen followed him upstairs.

  “You don’t need to do that on my account,” Owen purred. “I don’t mind you sweaty. But if you decide to take one, you’ll have to take me wit
h you. I’m not letting you out of my sight tonight.”

  “Afraid I’ll run away?” Derek teased.

  “Afraid I’m dreaming,” Owen replied.

  “I thought about that earlier, then decided I wasn’t dreaming when Kit interrupted us because there were no annoying teens in my dreams.”

  Owen looked around the room pointedly. “No annoying teens here. I could have fallen asleep.”

  “Okay,” Derek laughed, throwing up his hands in mock surrender. “Have it your way, but I warned you I’m sweaty.”

  Owen gave Derek a wicked grin and pounced. He peeled Derek’s shirt off and buried his nose in the pelt across Derek’s chest. “Mmm, perfect,” he said against Derek’s skin.

  Derek tensed for a moment, making Owen wonder if he’d been too pushy, but then he relaxed and set his arms gently at Owen’s waist, embracing him, but not taking charge.

  Good. Owen needed to show Derek how loved he was, not just in words, but in actions, in making him the sole focus of attention tonight and for as long as it took to banish any lingering doubts. He pushed Derek back toward the bed. Derek went easily, although Owen stopped him before he could sit down. “Let’s get rid of these. No dirty clothes in bed. Nothing but good clean sweat.”

  Derek smiled and let Owen strip him the rest of the way before tipping him back onto the bed. Owen’s mouth watered as he took in Derek in all his glory. Good heavens, Derek was gorgeous. Strong and broad and cut. If he hadn’t been so voluble in his appreciation of Owen, Owen might have felt inadequate next to him.

  Owen pulled his own shirt and pants off but left his boxers in place for now.

  “Are those really necessary?” Derek asked.

  “They are until I’m sure you believe me when I tell you I love you and I’ll always want you with me, even if I’m also doing something for Ephah,” Owen replied. “Then I’ll take them off and ride you as hard as I can.”

  Derek’s breath stuttered in his chest. “You… really love me? Even after—”

  Owen put his hand on Derek’s mouth. “You apologized. I apologized. That’s in the past. Let it be, and let me show you how much I mean it.”

  Derek caught his wrist and kissed it tenderly. “I love you too. I’d planned to bring you up here after we had dinner with Brian, seduce you properly, and tell you.”

  “Works for me,” Owen said, “only tonight I’m going to seduce you properly instead.”

  Derek put his hands behind his head, displaying his body for Owen’s delectation. “Seduce away.”

  He started slowly, running his hands over Derek’s skin, getting reacquainted with his body, his musky scent, the feel of hair beneath his palms. Derek’s breathing deepened and he arched beneath Owen’s touch, but he remained where he was, letting Owen take his time, even though the desire was clear in his eyes and in the way he moved into Owen’s caress.

  Owen got lost in touching him, in the different textures of his body from the hair on his chest and legs to the smooth skin of his sides and inner arms, the slight slick where he was sweaty and the incredible heat of his inner thighs and belly. Finally satisfied he’d learned all he could with his hands, he leaned down so he could taste and smell too.

  Derek moaned softly, arching to meet Owen’s mouth, but he kept his hands behind his head, not guiding Owen with anything more than the twist of his body and the breathy moans that escaped when Owen lingered over particularly sensitive spots—the curve of his bicep, the arc of his last rib, the spot beneath his navel where his treasure trail narrowed toward Owen’s ultimate target. He didn’t take Derek in his mouth yet, though. If he did that, he’d get too lost in the taste and feel of it to complete his objective.

  Feeling mischievous, he licked a stripe up the crease where Derek’s hip and thigh met, making him curse and squirm. The reaction was so gratifying Owen did it again on the other side.

  “Come on, Owen,” Derek begged. “I don’t know how much longer I can wait.” He reached into the drawer next to the bed and pulled out supplies. Owen grabbed them, rolled the condom on Derek, and prepped himself as quickly as he could. When he was fairly sure he wouldn’t do himself any damage, he straddled Derek and sank down onto him slowly.

  “Love you,” he whispered as he rocked gently against Derek, taking him deeper with each movement. “Love the way you listen to me, the way you believe in me. You don’t see a kid from the country. You just see me.”

  “Yeah, I see you,” Derek replied hoarsely. “Every perfect inch of you.”

  Owen leaned forward to kiss Derek, groaning as the movement changed the angle of Derek’s thrusts inside him. He set a lazy rhythm that he matched with his tongue, trying to reassure Derek without words that he was here with him and he wasn’t going anywhere.

  It could have been a minute or an hour or an eternity when the burgeoning tension between them reached a peak Owen couldn’t contain. He rose and fell faster until his thighs burned with the effort. When he faltered, Derek grabbed his hips, bracing them in his big hands, and thrust up into Owen, startling all breath from his lips and all restraint from his body.

  He collapsed forward onto Derek as his climax took him, feeling Derek spasm inside him at the same time. He nuzzled Derek’s broad chest, reveling in the strong arms encircling him in a secure embrace, and breathed in the salty, musky scent of sweat and sex. He shifted a little so he could straighten his legs. The movement dislodged Derek from inside him, but it didn’t matter. Derek was permanently lodged in his heart. The rest was icing on the cake.

  “Thank you,” Derek murmured against Owen’s hair.

  Owen pushed up so he could look Derek in the eyes. “For what?”

  “For loving me enough to give me a second chance.”

  Owen smiled and kissed him. “Always.”

  Epilogue

  DEREK put the final nail in the banner for Ephah, Kit, and Phillip’s graduation party and stepped back to make sure everything else was ready. He’d left early, as soon as Phillip’s name was called, leaving Blake, Thane, and Owen to watch the rest of the ceremony and bring the boys home.

  They’d done it. They’d gotten Ephah through his senior year and his internship with Dalton Construction. Derek figured Ephah would still be around the house quite a bit, if only because they’d feed him anytime he came by. He’d sent a graduation announcement to his parents. It had been returned unopened, but Ephah had received several letters and packages from his mother since then, presumably she’d gotten his address from the graduation announcement. Derek didn’t know how she managed to send them without her husband finding out, but she apparently had an ally at the post office. She couldn’t be at graduation, but Derek had hopes for future events.

  A knock at the door drew him out of his musings. He went to open it and smiled to see Brian and Paula on the other side.

  “Looking good, bro,” Brian said as Derek hugged Paula. “Family life agrees with you.”

  Derek grinned at Brian and helped a very pregnant Paula to the couch. “With you too.”

  Paula’s pregnancy had shocked everyone, but Brian had stepped up and proved to be a solicitous husband. Derek knew that would carry over to the baby as well.

  He’d just gotten Paula settled when he heard another knock. “Preston,” he said, after opening the door. “Good to see you.”

  “Good to see you too, Derek. Thanks for inviting me.”

  “Family is family. How’s the new business?”

  “It’s exactly what I wanted. I owe you and Thane for introducing me to Brent.” That had been the biggest revelation of the year for Derek. After his explosion at Marlene, Brian and Preston had both followed suit. Preston had quit his PhD program and gotten involved in estate sales and antiques. Brent helped him keep an eye out for sales and they’d found an old house to convert into a showroom for his finds.

  “Glad to hear it. Come on in. Brian and Paula are already here. There’s beer or sodas in the fridge. The graduates should be here soon.”

  As
if summoned by Derek’s words, a convoy of cars, horns blaring, turned down the street. Derek walked out onto the porch as they pulled to a stop in front of the house. Ephah, Kit, and Phillip tumbled out of the first car, laughing and wrestling with each other as they came up the sidewalk.

  “Congratulations!” Derek said when they reached him. “Go on in and eat, but don’t touch the cake until we tell you it’s time.” They pushed past him into the house. “And offer Aunt Paula a plate,” he called after them.

  They’d given up trying to decide on official titles for everyone, and the whole family had ended up as aunts and uncles. Derek figured it was good practice for Brian and Paula’s little one.

  Owen stepped onto the porch, drawing Derek’s attention as he always did. He’d dyed his hair blue and gold—Henry Clay’s colors—for graduation. “How was the rest of the ceremony?” Derek asked as Blake and Thane joined them on the porch.

  “About the same as all graduations,” Owen said. “Did you get everything ready?”

  “All done, and Brian, Paula, and Preston are already here.”

  The sound of raucous laughter drew them inside the house. Derek made sure Paula had a plate and then filled one for himself and Owen.

  After dinner, Ephah came over to where Derek and Owen were sitting. “Kit and I were talking. Since he and Phillip are both staying in town, we looked at on-campus housing for Kit versus the cost of renting an apartment near campus. If all three of us get a place together, I’d be able to afford it too, even with my current salary.”

  “Now you’re out of school, you’ll be able to work more hours, so your salary will increase, not to mention you’ll be able to start testing for certifications, which will increase your hourly pay, but I think you getting a place with Kit and Phillip sounds like a good idea,” Derek said. “Although you know you’re always welcome here.”