Lang Downs Page 15

  When Macklin’s hands started working on his jeans, relief surged through Caine. Whatever else happened—God, he hoped Macklin had condoms!—it would at least involve them getting naked together. He lifted his hips and forced his voice to work. “P-p-please t-tell me you have c-c-condoms.”

  “No,” Macklin said with a groan. “I always buy what I need when I go to Sydney. I was hoping you would have them.”

  “John and I were exclusive for six years. We s-stopped using them,” Caine explained. “It d-doesn’t m-m-matter. We’ll d-d-do something else instead. I d-did promise you a b-b-blow job.”

  “You promised to wake me up with one,” Macklin said. Caine’s dismay must have shown on his face because Macklin said, “No worries, pup. I’m not going to leave you hurting.”

  Caine breathed a sigh of relief when Macklin undid his jeans the rest of the way and pushed them and his boxer briefs down to his knees. His hand, hard and hot despite the cool room, closed around Caine’s cock, stroking firmly without being rough. Caine’s hips surged upward into the caress, desperate for more stimulation. He had the passing thought that he should try to reciprocate, but he couldn’t make his body cooperate any more than his voice.

  Then Macklin leaned down to whisper in his ear, and Caine lost even the train of coherent thought. “Look at you,” Macklin murmured. “Greedy little bottom, pants around your knees, begging to be touched.”

  Caine had always hated it when John tried to talk dirty during sex. It had always seemed forced and uninspiring. Maybe it was Macklin’s accent that made this different or maybe it was the way Macklin touched him, but Caine wanted more. More of Macklin’s hands on his body. More of Macklin’s voice in his ear. More of Macklin in his life.

  He’d never be able to get all of that out, though, so he settled for turning his head and kissing Macklin hungrily. Macklin responded in kind, keeping his touch light on Caine’s cock as he ravished Caine’s mouth.

  When they broke their kiss, Macklin’s hand delved between Caine’s thighs, cupping his sac and then probing lower. “Makes me wish I’d picked up some lotion.”

  Caine rolled out of bed, stripping his pants off so he wouldn’t trip, and dug through his bag until he found a small bottle of lube he hadn’t tossed before he moved.

  “L-l-l-lube.”

  Macklin’s grin made Caine weak in the knees as he patted the space Caine had vacated. “Come back here and let me finish what I started.”

  Caine all but jumped back onto the bed, but instead of lying back down, he opened Macklin’s jeans and pushed them down. “T-t-take them off.”

  To Caine’s surprise, Macklin hesitated.

  “W-what’s wrong?”

  “I’m not used to being naked with anyone,” Macklin admitted. “In a back room or an alley, you open your pants enough to pull your dick out, but you don’t strip all the way down. There isn’t enough time or privacy for that.”

  Caine nodded, heart hurting as he imagined the emptiness of Macklin’s life with a week of anonymous encounters each year and nothing in between. “You d-don’t have to if you d-don’t want to, but I’d l-like to t-t-touch you too.”

  Macklin nodded slowly and pulled his jeans off. Caine caught his breath at the sight of Macklin, hard and uncut, the tip just peeking out from beneath the foreskin. Tentatively, he stroked the almost hidden slit.

  “Don’t do too much of that, pup,” Macklin said, catching Caine’s wrist, “or this will be over before we start.”

  Caine thought watching Macklin come apart beneath his hands sounded like a marvelous idea, but he could wait until later if it would put Macklin more at ease. He let his hand fall to Macklin’s rock-hard thigh, appreciating the strength beneath his fingers, and waited for whatever Macklin wanted to do next.

  To Caine’s delight, Macklin squeezed some lube onto his fingers, rubbing them together until they were completely coated. “Tell me if it gets too dry,” he said, circling a finger around Caine’s entrance. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

  Caine couldn’t formulate an answer, but he figured he could say “ow” if it hurt.

  Macklin teased him for several long minutes until Caine was moaning constantly and pressing up into Macklin’s hand, his body begging for more even if he couldn’t say the words. Finally Macklin gave him what he wanted, breaching him with the tip of one finger. Caine came halfway off the bed, his body seizing at the intimate touch after so long.

  “I’m not hurting you, am I, pup?”

  Caine shook his head vehemently. “D-d-d-don’t s-s-stop.”

  Macklin pulled Caine the rest of the way to sitting and into a hard kiss, his tongue tasting every inch of Caine’s mouth. “Not stopping,” he promised. “Not until you come apart for me.”

  That wouldn’t take long if Macklin kept playing with Caine’s prostate. The foreman found the sensitive gland on the first pass and exploited it mercilessly, his finger flicking across it with unerring precision. His other hand circled around Caine’s cock again, stroking in time with the flicks of his finger so that Caine was stimulated from within and without. He rocked between Macklin’s hands, harsh sobs escaping as he raced toward the summit. When he swore he couldn’t take anymore without exploding completely, Macklin’s hands stopped moving. They didn’t withdraw, merely froze on his cock and in his passage.

  “Not yet,” Macklin said. “Breathe for me until you’re a little more in control.”

  Caine opened his eyes and looked at Macklin skeptically, but he took a few deep breaths, feeling his climax recede. Macklin leaned over and kissed him tenderly this time, gentling Caine with an assiduity Caine had not expected, given what Macklin had revealed of his past experiences. Caine sighed and relaxed into the kiss. The moment he did, Macklin’s hands moved again, far faster and more demanding than before, catapulting Caine into release. He climaxed with a hoarse shout, every bone in his body feeling like liquid. He struggled to catch his breath, wanting to return the pleasure Macklin had given him when he heard Macklin grunt harshly. Forcing his eyes open again, he watched in helpless fascination as Macklin tugged on his cock a few times before splattering Caine’s stomach with his release.

  “I wanted to d-do that.”

  “I’m sorry, pup. I couldn’t wait,” Macklin said, lying down next to Caine. “Watching you, touching you… it was too much.”

  “That’s t-twice you’ve t-taken care of yourself instead of l-letting me d-do it,” Caine said. “No m-more. You make me feel selfish.”

  “Wake me up like you promised and we’ll be even,” Macklin said.

  “I will,” Caine agreed. He snuggled closer to Macklin, heedless of the sticky mess on his belly. As his pulse returned to normal, he relaxed enough to speak more easily. “Where did you learn that trick? That’s not something you pick up from fucking around in bars.”

  “I took my first trip to Sydney at twenty,” Macklin said. “Michael insisted I go to relax a little, as he put it. I was still a scrawny kid then, not exactly top material even if that’s what I wanted to be, but the guys who were looking for tops weren’t looking at me. I figured my only choice was to leave with one of the older men. He wanted me to go home with him. In hindsight, it was a stupid move, but I didn’t know any better. Fortunately, he wasn’t after any more than I was willing to give. I spent the week with him before I came back to Lang Downs, and he taught me all about sex. I just haven’t had much chance to use it before now.”

  “I thought you’d never had a lover.”

  “He wasn’t a lover,” Macklin insisted. “He wanted a sweet young arse to fuck. I was willing to be that arse for him for the time I was in Sydney. Foreplay consisted of him fingering me until I came and then fucking me until I came again, or fucking my mouth until he came. It wasn’t cruel, but it was just sex, and we both knew it. And that was over twenty years ago. I had enough sense to make him wear a condom, but that’s about it. You’re the only lover I’ve ever had.”

  Hearing Macklin call him his lover re
assured Caine. Whatever bumps in the road they’d have ahead, Macklin wasn’t thinking of their encounters as a fling. “I’d say I was sorry you haven’t met anyone in all that time, but if you had, we might not be here now, and I can’t regret that.”

  “Some things are worth waiting for, pup,” Macklin said, kissing Caine gently. “Now get some sleep. We’ve got things to do tomorrow and a long drive home.”

  Caine nodded and kissed Macklin one more time before rolling onto his side and pressing back against Macklin’s front. With no clothes between them, Macklin’s cock settled perfectly between Caine’s buttocks, pressing tightly against his entrance. Caine hissed at the intimate sensation.

  “I’ll buy condoms tomorrow,” Macklin promised, his voice hoarse.

  “Good.” Caine’s voice trembled with renewed need, but he forced his body to relax. They didn’t have to rush, even after they had condoms. “Don’t forget the lube either. That tube’s almost empty, and spit or lotion isn’t going to cut it.”

  “Greedy little bottom,” Macklin teased, but he stroked Caine’s arm tenderly as he said it, his hand coming to rest above Caine’s heart.

  “Only for you,” Caine replied.

  “Really?”

  Caine shrugged. “I told you what John thought about sex with me. He never actually said it, but it was pretty obvious neither of us was overly passionate about the other. We went through the motions because we were a couple and expected to have sex, but I never felt like I’d die if I didn’t come right then, the way you made me feel tonight.”

  Macklin tugged on Caine’s arm until he rolled to his back. Macklin rolled on top of him, pressing Caine down into the soft hotel mattress. “There is nothing… nothing boring about sex with you, Caine. Nothing.” He rocked against Caine, his cock already half-hard again, to prove his point. “You’re handsome and passionate and being in bed with you is more exciting than all the fucking I’ve ever done. Maybe it was his fault, maybe it was just that you weren’t good as a couple. Either way, you forget what he said or made you feel because I can’t get enough of you.”

  “I don’t suppose Boorowa has a twenty-four-hour store that sells condoms.” The feeling of Macklin growing hard against him left Caine aching to prove everything would be as good with Macklin as their first two encounters had been.

  “Not likely,” Macklin said with a groan. “I should have gone before dinner.”

  “Or I sh-should have,” Caine replied, stroking his hands down Macklin’s back to cup his buttocks. “G-g-god, I’ve n-n-never g-gotten hard again this f-fast.”

  Macklin chuckled. “I’m a good ten years older than you and you’ve got me hard again. Not boring in bed, pup.”

  Sixteen

  “TH-THIS TIME you have to l-l-let me m-make love to you,” Caine insisted, squirming out from beneath Macklin. “I want to touch you too.”

  The flicker of unease Caine had seen several times before passed across Macklin’s face, but Caine didn’t back down. “P-please? I’ll s-stop if you say to, but I want to make you f-feel as g-good as you made me feel.”

  “I’ll try, pup,” Macklin said, “but I’m used to being in charge, at the station, in bars, wherever. It’s hard to let that go.”

  “Surely you can handle a hand job,” Caine joked.

  “It’s not that easy,” Macklin said. “Fucking around is one thing. Being with you is something else entirely. Being here, just lying here in this bed with you, scares the hell out of me, pup. You’ve been at Lang Downs for a couple of months. You still don’t know what it’s really like, year in and year out. Every man who comes to the station thinks he’s hot stuff, tough as nails and strong enough to move mountains. They respect me, they listen to me because I’m tougher, stronger, harder than they are. Without that, I’d lose all control over them.”

  “You’re the boss. They have to listen to you.”

  “No, they had to listen to Michael. They might have to listen to you, but I’m foreman because they know I’ll kick their arses if they don’t do as I say,” Macklin insisted.

  “And how is me giving you a hand job different than you giving me one?” Caine asked, still not following Macklin’s argument.

  “It’s giving someone else the upper hand,” Macklin explained. “Aside from that one week when I came to Sydney the first time, I’ve never let anyone have the upper hand in anything, and even that was just fucking. This is different.”

  “So you’re somehow less gay if you give me a hand job than if I give you one?” Caine asked incredulously. “That doesn’t make any sense. It’s a hand on your dick. You’re a guy. You’re going to react to that no matter whose hand it is. Putting your hand on me is far more indicative of your sexuality than letting me touch you.”

  “But I’m still the one in control,” Macklin explained.

  “F-fuck that,” Caine said. “You can b-be as in control as you w-want out in the outback. I’ll be the first to admit I n-need you in control out there, but in p-private, when it’s just us, I don’t need someone who just wants a b-body to fuck when it’s convenient. I need a p-partner who’s going to share my life, not r-run it for me. I thought m-maybe that would be you, but if you can’t even let me t-touch you, how will you ever let me l-love you?”

  Furious, Caine climbed out of bed, shivering as he looked around for his underwear. He swiped at the drying mess on his stomach, hating its presence now as much as he had reveled in it minutes before. He grabbed a clean pair from his bag and pulled them on before turning to look for his shirt. Macklin intercepted him before he could reach it.

  “Did you mean it?”

  “Mean what?” Caine snapped, pulling away and grabbing his shirt. He couldn’t stand there half-dressed anymore, not when he felt so vulnerable.

  “What you said about loving me,” Macklin said softly.

  Oh, shit, did I really say that?

  “It doesn’t matter now,” Caine said, keeping his back to Macklin. “You won’t let me.”

  “I warned you I didn’t know what I was doing,” Macklin reminded him, his hands coming to rest on Caine’s shoulders. “And you told me relationships were about negotiation and fighting sometimes until you could find a way to make it work.”

  “You aren’t trying to make it work,” Caine retorted, shrugging Macklin’s hands off and pulling his pants on. “You’re trying to make me just another fuck. I won’t do it, Macklin. It’s all or nothing. I won’t be your piece on the side.”

  “You couldn’t be farther from that,” Macklin swore. “The things we’ve done together…. Bloody hell, Caine, I’ve never touched anyone the way I’ve touched you. I’ve never wanted to. The kisses, sleeping together last night, spending the night together tonight. I’ve never shared that with anyone but you, so whatever fucked-up idea you have in your head, get rid of it. I’m struggling here. I haven’t the slightest idea how to give you what you want because I’ve never done it before, but the fact that I’m trying, the fact that I want to give it to you in the first place, should tell you how different this is from anything in my past. You’re asking me to change overnight, and that’s not an easy thing to do.”

  “So what happens now?” Caine asked slowly. “We seem to have reached an impasse.”

  “I don’t know,” Macklin replied just as carefully. “You can get dressed and go downstairs, check into another room, and forget this ever happened, although I hope that won’t be your choice. Or you can stay and we can try to find a way forward we can both live with.”

  “Do you really think there is a way forward?” Caine asked.

  “I don’t know,” Macklin said again, “but I know I want there to be one.”

  “My grandmother always said, ‘Where there’s a will, there’s a way.’ I guess we keep searching until we find it.”

  “Don’t scare me like that again, pup,” Macklin demanded, pulling Caine into his arms. “I can deal with dead sheep, bloody snakes, power outages, and everything else the outback can throw at me. I ca
n’t deal with you walking out on me.”

  “Then don’t give me a reason to,” Caine replied, fighting the urge to sink back into Macklin’s embrace. It would be so easy to give in and pretend everything was better now, but that wouldn’t actually fix anything.

  “I didn’t think I’d given you one tonight until you got ready to storm out,” Macklin said. “I’m not saying you were wrong to be upset, so don’t look at me that way. I’m just saying it’s not as easy as you telling me not to give you a reason to walk out. I’m trying to be as honest with you as I can. I’m making a huge change in my life, in my way of thinking, in everything. That doesn’t happen overnight.”

  Sometimes it does, Caine thought, remembering his decision to come to Australia, but unlike Macklin, he’d had nothing left to lose. Macklin had nearly everything. Caine would have to be worth that risk. “So what do we do now?”

  “I hope you’ll come back to bed and sleep in my arms again,” Macklin said. “It felt good having you with me last night. I know that isn’t what you want, but it’s something, I hope, and then we’ll see how tomorrow goes.”

  Tomorrow was supposed to start with Caine waking Macklin up with a blow job, but after tonight, Caine wasn’t sure how likely that was to happen. He wanted it more than ever, as a chance to prove to Macklin how good it could feel to let someone else be in charge occasionally, but Caine was afraid that was wishful thinking. He’d try, but he wouldn’t get his hopes up for success. Still, sleeping with Macklin was better than sleeping alone. Being asked to sleep with Macklin was even better. He would have to remind himself to celebrate the tiny steps rather than assume they would simply move through them.